Safe

Runtime 95 minutes.
Not for children.

From l, Catherine Chan and Jason Statham in “Safe.”

When you pay your money to see a Jason Statham movie, you are paying to see Jason dispatch lots of bad guys single-handed. That’s what you get here, in spades.

Mei (newcomer Catherine Chan) is a ten-year-old math prodigy who is brutally taken from her family in China to be a tool for the Chinese mafia. Luke Wright (Statham) is a down and out fighter, former NYPD cop, whose family has been murdered and his life destroyed by the Russian mafia. As he’s contemplating suicide in the subway, he encounters Mei who is clearly in trouble, and becomes her protector against all the bad people in New York who need her, and that includes just about everyone who lives there. The result is that when the movie ends, it’s hard to believe that Jason has left anyone alive in The Big Apple.

The triad boss, Han Jiao (well played by James Hong), is a vicious manipulator who uses Mei with no regard for her welfare. Equally cold is Mei’s guardian, Quan Chang (Reggie Lee), who also has no feelings for poor little Mei.

Representing the NYPD is Luke’s old boss, NYPD Police Captain Wolf (Robert John Burke), who is just as unsympathetic as Jiao and Chang. What makes this movie so much fun is that the bad guys are really hateful, which makes their comeuppance from Luke all the more desirable.

Statham is more than just an action hero. He shows admirable range here in displaying the depths to which Luke has descended. But as the movie progresses and as Luke gets into the action, the joy of life returns to him as he risks it all to save Mei. This isn’t really a revenge movie à la Charles Bronson’s Death Wish films. In those, Charles was solely out to wreak vengeance. Here, Luke has accepted his fate to have his life ruined by the vicious criminals who killed his family until he meets Mei and realizes that it’s up to him to rescue her. That in the process he also gets back at the Russians who killed his family is just icing on the cake.

Ably written and directed by Boaz Yakin, in his first try at an action film, this is almost non stop action. Maybe it’s not for everyone, but the tension drives the film and the stunts are impressive, including lots of fine car chases.

Bernie

Runtime 104 minutes.
OK for children.

From l, Shirley Maclaine and Jack Black in “Bernie.”

This is based on a true story inspired by an article in Texas Monthly about the town of Carthage, Texas, generally, and two of his residents, Marjorie Nugent and Bernie Tiede. Director Richard Linklater, whose last film Me and Orson Welles (2009) was one of the three best films I saw that year, has once again hit a home run.

Tiede (Jack Black) is an assistant funeral director who was so nice he became one of Carthage’s most beloved residents, teaching Sunday school, singing in the church choir, and always being there when ever anyone needed help.

Marjorie Nugent (Shirley Maclaine), on the other hand, was Carthage’s most hated resident. She had a malign, cruel personality. Despite this, Bernie befriended her.

What happened next is told by the actual residents of Carthage in documentary style, cutting back and forth between Black and MacLaine playing the roles of Tiede and Nugent. Eventually the town’s ambitious District Attorney, Danny Buck Davidson (Matthew McConaughey) becomes involved.

It’s not often that McConaughey gets third billing in a film, since he is one of Hollywood’s more attractive leading men. However McConaughey has spent most of his career in inferior films, relying on his incomparable smile and charm to get by. Here he finds himself in a real film that requires real acting and he lives up to his promise. We can only hope that his days of insubstantial romantic comedies are over. Not that all romantic comedies are “insubstantial.” Well directed and well written romantic comedies require as much acting talent as Shakespeare. McConaughey has found him stuck in romantic comedies that are neither well directed nor well-written.

Black and MacLaine both give Oscar–quality performances. Hereto for Maclaine has generally relied on her beauty and charm. Here she is pictured as an ugly, shrunken, old shrew, and she pulls it off beautifully.

Black gives the best performance of his career as the sexually ambiguous funeral director who finally can’t take it anymore and finds himself accused of a heinous crime.

While all three stars give marvelous performances, the best performances in the film are by the actual townspeople of Carthage who knew Bernie. While I was watching the film, I fully believed that these people were actors because they were so natural. However, truth be told, all the townspeople are the actual townspeople who were in Carthage during the time Bernie was the assistant funeral director. This adds enormous verisimilitude to the film. Further, the outtakes under the closing credits show that Black spent some time with the real Bernie.

This is one of the more entertaining movies I’ve seen this year.

The cast of “Eventide.”

They call it the Golden Years … “come grow old with me, the best is yet to be….” Or is it? In Eventide, now playing at the Secret Rose Theatre, “growing older gracefully,” a theme covered in a myriad of plays, musicals, films, songs, and poems … is explored in depth. The two main characters, Lou Bronson (Martin Clark) and Audrey Bronson (Sara Shearer) face this stage in their life in all its glory: self-discovery, along with finding inner peace and balance — amidst a balancing act of overcoming dizzy spells. Shakespeare eloquently relays in a renowned soliloquy from As You Like It, a commentary on the aging process: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women are merely players … with spectacles on nose and pouch on side, his youthful hose well saved, a world too wide … last scene of all, that ends this strange, eventful history….” As the two performers face their final curtain, the sunset of their lives, many contrasts come to life: Dreams and Reality; Darkness and Light; Death and Life; Heartbreak and Love. It’s as if they are on a desert island, castaways reflecting on their past (along with the supporting actors), Stanley, (Phil Talsky), their supportive relative; and Gloria (Deborah Thomas), their comforting caregiver. They mainly look straight ahead, at the TV, a crucial “invisible” prop, or into an imaginary mirror, reflecting on their past — what they did and didn’t do, yet never crying over spilled milk, but maintaining a positive, optimistic view on the future, with hopes of renewing wedding vows, despite various aches, pains, illnesses, and the overall foibles and perils of aging. The couple is likened to a “fragile pair of faded ceramics,” complete with a long history of personality, stories, and memories. Rather than face their impending mortality, they choose to “be strong, rather than weak,” pretend and make believe that the “good times will last forever.”

Alas, “Man plans and God laughs….” As Lou and Audrey prepare to face the final sunset, and the stage’s final curtain descends, the audience is drawn into the fragility, fleeting nature of life, and the importance of “living each day as one’s last,” a true existential philosophy. “There is only one day left, always starting over: It is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk.”

? Jean-Paul Sartre

Eventide is playing at the Secret Rose Theatre located at 11246 Magnolia Blvd. in NoHo. Performances are on Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., and Sundays at 2 p.m. through June 3. For tickets, visit www.eventideplay.com, www.secretrose.com, or call (818) 850-3244.

The Five-Year Engagement

Runtime 122 minutes.
OK for children.

From l, Emily Blunt and Jason Segel in “The Five-Year Engagement.”

“OK for children.” Who woulda thought that a film by smutmeister Judd Apatow, who favors crudity, genital jokes, and bathroom humor, would make a movie that was “OK for children?” Who woulda linked classy Emily Blunt with an Apatow movie? But that’s what we have here. Apatow showed in Funny People (2008) that he can do work that doesn’t wallow in the gutter. But Funny People didn’t do that well at the box office, so Judd, being a good businessman, has generally stayed where the money is. Even though this has an “R” rating due to some raunchy language, that’s a minor part of the film. It would be even better had Judd realized that this was a good story that would be nice for children to see because it emphasizes commitment and kept the smutty language out of it. There’s no female nudity and the love scenes keep Blunt clothed or at least covered up. Unfortunately, there are a few unfortunate scenes of Segel’s bare bottom that add nothing to the film.

Blunt shines once again in this sweet love story (written by costar Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller, who directed) about, well, an engagement that lasts five years. This is a film of surprising depth, getting into the nitty gritty of a relationship, that seems realistic.

It’s never adequately explained why Violet Barnes (Blunt) and Tom Solomon (Segel) choose to live together instead of getting married when their career opportunities diverge, but that’s a clumsy plot device that one must overlook to get into the spirit of the film.

Chris Pratt gives an engaging performance as Tom’s best friend, Alex Eilhauer (if it was explained why Tom and Alex have different last names, I missed it), who is described as not too bright, but who seemed plenty savvy to me. His appearances livened the film when it was dragging. Alison Brie gives a fine performance as Violet’s sister and Alex’s wife, Suzie, although she doesn’t appear in that many scenes.

The other negative of the film for me, other than why they just didn’t get married in the first place, was that it’s far too long. I thought it would never end. But that did give me extra time to watch Blunt, and that’s always a treat.

Elles

Runtime 96 minutes.
Not for children.

Juliette Binoche in “Elles.”

Straight-laced Anne (Juliette Binoche) finds herself corrupted by the two prostitutes, Charlotte (Anaïs Demoustier) and Alicja (Joanna Kulig), about whom she is writing an article in this NC-17 rated film. It examines why some beautiful young women become prostitutes and shatters feminist images about who is exploiting whom. Says writer/director Malgoska Szumowska,

“Before the start of the shoot, I wanted to meet some young female prostitutes. In Poland, I knew from reading the papers that many young female students are forced to sleep with the owners of the rooms they live in. The account of one young girl who was both beautiful and elegant made a great impression on me. From the start of the interview, she only talked about sex, what she did and what she liked to do. To be honest, I was shocked. Shocked by the fact that a girl this pretty and intelligent derived pleasure from sleeping with men for money. And it wasn’t only to meet vital needs such as food and accommodation, but also for pleasure and to have a more pleasant life. In fact, it was very different from the fantasy that most people have of prostitution.”

The film is as much about Anne, her relationship with her family, and her moral slide as it is about the prostitutes themselves. Unfortunately, Szumowska sprinkles the film with mundane scenes of Anne’s everyday life like bringing home groceries and dealing with problems with her refrigerator and blender that slow the pace considerably.

Counter-balancing this is an enchanting performance by Demoustier, which is worth the price of admission by itself. She is a huge star aborning.

As to Kulig, Szumowska says, “She wanted to be in the film so badly that she lied to me when I asked her if she could speak French. When I realized it wasn’t true, I thought she was very sassy. And in the end, in the film, she does speak French!”

In addition to the humdrum scenes of Anne’s ordinary life, the film is marred by lots of product placements, especially for Apple Computer (the King of Product Placement) and Mercedes Benz.

Although this is not hard core, it does contain female nudity and fairly specific scenes of sexual activity. In French and Polish.

Headhunters

Run time 100 minutes.
Not for children.

Aksel Hennie in “Headhunters.”

Jo Nesbø is a Norwegian writer of thrillers, most of which feature his protagonist, Harry Hole. This was his first book, written in 2008, in which Hole does not appear.

Roger Brown (Aksel Hennie, one of Norway’s most popular actors) tells us right at the outset that he is short, 5-6, and must overcompensate. He has a gorgeous live-in girlfriend, Diana Brown (Synnøve Macody Lund, a journalist and former model who makes her acting debut). Although he works as a headhunter, he supplements his income by stealing art, with his partner, Ove Kikerud (Eivind Sander). Diana brings him a person searching for a specific job, Clas Greve (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, one of Denmark’s most successful international actors). When Roger learns that Greve has inherited a painting that is potentially worth $100 million, he plots with Ove to steal it.

Alas, things go from bad to worse for poor Roger. At times things get so bad that this almost appears like a horror film, although that’s not what it is. Regardless, the acting is superb. Directed by Morten Tyldum, from a script by Ulf Ryberg and Lars Gudmestad, this is a first-class thriller with tension-enhancing music (Trond Bjerknæs and Jeppe Kaas), and Hitchcockian-quality cinematography (John Andreas Andersen).

Like all good thrillers, after the setup that takes place in the first 15 minutes the tension constantly increases. While Roger is a “headhunter,” in that his main occupation is finding people for jobs, the title attains a double meaning as the movie progresses.

Last year the best film I saw was the French thriller, Point Blank. This is another film in that mold. Many avoid foreign films because they don’t like to read subtitles. These films are so good you soon don’t even register that you’re reading the dialogue. This film, especially, is so visual that for most of it the subtitles are relatively irrelevant. In Norwegian & Danish.

Darling Companion

Runtime 103 minutes.
OK for children.

From l, Diane Keaton and Elisabeth Moss in “Darling Companion.”

This is ostensibly a comedy, albeit one with few laughs. The genesis was when writers Meg & Lawrence Kasdan adopted a dog from a shelter in Los Angeles. From that, the inventive Lawrence, who directed, developed this story about relationships, centered around a missing, but loved, dog.

Beth (Diane Keaton) and Joseph Winter (Kevin Kline), a surgeon, comprise a longtime married couple whose marriage is shaky. He’s in surgery most of the time while their last daughter, Grace (Elisabeth Moss) is still at home with no boyfriend, and Beth is feeling forlorn. On a drive with Grace, Beth spots an abandoned dog and rescues it. They take it to a vet, Sam (Jay Ali), and sparks fly between him and Grace. Joseph reluctantly agrees to adopt the dog, which they name Freeway.

A year later Grace and Sam marry at the family’s cabin in the mountains. After the newlyweds leave, Beth and Joseph and Joseph’s sister, Penny (Dianne Wiest), and her boyfriend, Russell (Richard Jenkins), remain along with Penny’s son, Bryan (Mark Duplass), also a surgeon, and the cabin’s caretaker Carmen (Ayelet Zurer), a beautiful, mysterious psychic.

When the dog gets lost chasing a deer, Grace insists on trying to find him and induces Joseph to forget about his waiting patients and stay in the remote location in what appears to be a quixotic quest to find the dog. While the movie’s credibility is severely shaken by something as unrealistic as this, it is exacerbated by Keaton’s annoying acting. There’s a scene in which Joseph is instructing her on how to make a painful treatment on him that is so irritating it would have driven me out of the theater if I hadn’t had to stay. I think the last time I saw Keaton when she didn’t annoy the heck out of me was in The Godfather, Parts II & III (1974 & 1990, respectively). She gave outstanding performances in both. Except for her performance in The Godfather, Part III, once she adopted her irritating persona and mannerisms in Annie Hall (1977) she has been virtually unwatchable for me.

This is not a dog movie in the mold of Marley and Me (2008), which was almost entirely about a dog. This is about people. In fact, for almost half the movie, the dog is lost and off screen.

The best parts of the film could have been the scenery, as it was shot in photogenic parts of Utah, but Director of Photography Michael McDonough doesn’t take full advantage out of what could have been colorful, mind-blowing visuals. What remained as the best part for me was the performance of Zurer, who is captivating in her short times onscreen.

Although well-intended, this is mostly a monumental bore.

It helps if the economy is booming and the location is a high traffic hot spot. Maximilian’s in the No Ho Arts District had neither advantage but the unique venture does have the boundless enthusiasm and experience of talented Chef Laszlo who had to make it the hard way with favorable word of mouth and media praise…. His tenacity is beginning to pay off.

Deliciously different, Maximilian’s Austrian, Hungarian and French Cuisine skillfully prepared to order, provides a welcome, authentic Euro dining adventure at remarkably sensible prices. There’s a lack of pretense plus the sense of casual elegance that persuades particular patrons to relax and sip an award-winning vintage whilst considering the tempting menu. Every dish on the lunch or dinner menu is prepared by Lazslo in his open kitchen where miraculous culinary classics happen….

With its one of a kind setting, Maximilian’s has the feel of a smartly converted residence magically converted to a mini-palace setting complete with a lovely rose garden adjoining ample self parking at 11330 Weddington St. An inviting outside patio seats up to 60 guests in private cabanas ideal for personal or business events and the mural charmed smaller party facility adjoins the carpeted central dining room where patrons relax at smartly set tables with full white linen at lunch as well as dinner served daily except on Mondays … from 11:30 and after 5:30 for dinner. Its dinner service is only on Sundays.

Lazslo is justly proud of his award winning imported wine and champagne list that includes an impressive number of sensibly priced vintages named among the finest 100 imports in the prestigious Wine Spectator. Many are available by the glass for patrons’ personal appraisal and preference. Browse the wines or beers before you sip and sup in subdued grandeur.

Voices Thru Time and Eternity

Conductor Terry Danne.

The majesty and redemptive power of music was performed at California State University Northridge by the San Fernando Valley and Premiere Chamber Chorale on Saturday, April 14. The theme was Easter, encompassing the spring season, one of rebirth and renewal. The musical selections varied from Bach to Debussy. The chorus sang the multiple languages seamlessly.

Any agnostic would enjoy the theme presented as the music represented the grace of love, how forgiveness leads to redemption. The musicians were all in top form. Kudos to cellist Cathy Biagini and pianist Dr. Frank Garvey. Once again, conductor Terry Danne extrapolates the absolute best from all involved. Each note is distinguished and precise. Each voice carries recognized beauty.

The program featured three parts. The performance for the first two acts were classic selections of aforementioned as well as Mozart. The third act was composed by Mary E. Caldwell. It was the story of Christ, using the metaphor of the seasons of his birth, ministry, death and resurrection.

This performance was truly memorable.

LA Pierce College Philharmonic Choir @ California State University Northridge Saturday, April 14, 2012.

Marley

Runtime 145 minutes.
OK for children.

“Marley.”

When I first went to the Virgin Islands to conduct business there several decades ago, I was warned about the inhabitants’ calypso patois. After I arrived, while it was sometimes difficult to comprehend, it was musical to listen to. Whenever they spoke I felt as if I were at a concert. It was more than charming.

This documentary about Reggae singer/songwriter Bob Marley, directed by Kevin Macdonald, is set mostly in Marley’s native Jamaica. The story is told through interviews with the people who knew him best and archival footage. They all speak the Jamaican patois. Because some of their accents are so heavy, sometimes what they say is shown in subtitles, as if they were speaking a foreign language. I felt that all of the dialogue should have been subtitled because it is extremely difficult to understand. Even so, it is magical to listen to them speak.

Made with the unprecedented cooperation of the Marley family this is as complete a biography as you could expect. It gives a little background of Marley’s parents and grandparents and then shows something of his childhood in a Jamaican slum.

The first part of the film is narrated through interviews with Neville “Bunny” Livingston, the only survivor of the Wailers, the breakthrough group Marley formed with Bunny and Peter Tosh, who tells Marley’s story from 1961 through 1973. Neville Garrick, the Wailers artistic director, who was with Marley through the remainder of his life, takes over after Bunny left the Wailers in 1973 when he split from the band.

Making McDonald’s task difficult is that there is no archival film footage of the Wailers’ performances through 1973, since they were just a local Jamaican band. The story is told using archival photographs with Marley’s music as a background. Also interviewed is Marley’s wife and several of his girlfriends, including Miss World.

Marley was of mixed race; his father was white and his mother was black, and several of his close friends explained that that was a stigma that Marley felt deeply. The film also traces his belief in Rastafarianism and how it influenced his life.

McDonald does an exceptional job of presenting Marley in a way that the audience gets to know him. He became a huge political force in Jamaica and this is also reflected in the film. But he wasn’t perfect. He had skewed morality, fathering 11 children with seven different women. His daughter by his wife displays how much she was hurt by his relationship with her by her attitude in being interviewed for the film.

It’s not the purpose of my reviews to tell the whole story of a movie. This is a fascinating tale told by people who know how to tell a story, accompanied by wonderful music. My main objection to the film is that Marley’s music is shown in short clips, instead of complete songs. But that’s a minor criticism, and he wrote so much music that the film is filled with it. This is one of the best documentaries I’ve seen.

American Reunion

Runtime 105 minutes.
Not for children.

From l, Seann William Scott and Jason Biggs in “American Reunion.”

This is a modern screwball comedy. Unfortunately, that means that it’s diminished by some disgusting sexual scenes and full frontal male nudity. But it also contains some laugh out loud scenes that are reminiscent of director Allan Dwan’s classic screwball comedy, Up in Mabel’s Room (1944).

Directed by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, the six guys who played in the original, American Pie (1999), and the two sequels, American Pie 2 (2001), and American Wedding (2003), Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Chris Owen, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, and Eddie Kay Thomas, return to attend their high school reunion. The story centers around Jim Levenstein (Biggs) and his wife, Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), who are having marital problems, naturally. But the other guys have their problems, too. They all get together and circumstances naturally create their own problems, mostly with former girlfriends, played by Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth, and Mena Suvari. The entire cast returns from the previous films, so it really is a reunion.

The highlights of the film are provided by Scott, who plays Steve Stifler, the bad boy who never grew up. Scott gives a wonderful performance as a character that needed talent to be portrayed. When he’s onscreen, the film really picks up. He reminded me of two people I know. Maybe everybody has known someone like Stifler.

But there are other good performances, most notably by Hannigan as the unsatisfied wife. Biggs is the glue of the film and carries it off well, especially when he gets entangled with gorgeous Kara (Ali Cobrin), the next-door neighbor of Jason’s father (Eugene Levy) for whom Jason used to baby sit. Kara is now a shapely 18 and wants Jason. His problems with her provide the movie with its funniest parts, approximately 2/3 of the way through. It doesn’t hurt when she takes off her shirt, either. But that’s not to diminish the performances of Reid, Suvari, and Elizabeth, all of whom add to the enjoyment of the film.

There are some raunchy parts that are more disgusting than funny that could have been left out, all involving Stifler. But all in all, the funny parts outweigh the raunchy parts and the feel good ending is appropriate, if hackneyed.

From l, Brandi Magee and Graham Outerbridge in “Marry, F***, or Kill.”

A secret ‘guilty pleasure’ of mine: indulgently eating a pint of haagen dazs Rocky Road ice cream, while watching re-run after re-run of HBO’s famed “Sex and the City.” Such is the equivalent, now onstage at the Mirror Theatre in Noho, “Marry, F***, or Kill,” written by Brad T. Gottfred and Joanne Mosconi. As the voice-over/narrator insightfully states at show’s start: there are only 3 actions you want to take with people who truly matter—”marry, f***, or kill.” The show is a ‘dramedy,’ with a meaningful message on the importance of human connection, and how timing plays such a huge role in objects of the heart, with many twists and bumps along the way.

Set at the Pink Dinosaur cafe ( a most aesthetically pleasing set), in the island of Manhattan, where no man is truly an island unto oneself, but rather in desperate search of a soulmate, the show revolves around a group of disconnected friends, yet seemingly intertwined. A lot of angst and rift (so typical of playwrights and screenwriters, such as Neil Simon and Woody Allen) is revealed, as the characters feelings come to the surface, almost like live, screaming lobsters in a pot of boiling water.

The refreshing, talented, (and beautiful to look at ) ensemble are dynamic and entertaining, as each and every one tries to find not only their sense of self, but that special, certain ‘one.’ To find that soulmate can be either fulfilling or distilling, and in more cases than not, dysfunction and conflict pervades, the source of great dramatic material. With the huge box office success of raunchy relationship drama/comedies, like Hangover and Bridesmaids, and soon to be released “Five Year Engagement,” this play will have mass appeal, as it ‘pushes the envelope.’ It’s a frank, bold, brave look at modern relationships. The juxtaposition of romantic, nostalgic love songs, such as “My Way,” and “You are the Sunshine of my Life,” set each scene, exploring the good, the bad, and the ugly of love, single life, and sexuality.

In today’s hurried world, and the temerity of fate, so many hide behind their busy lives to avoid vulnerability and commitment. Much of the show’s dialogue (like HBO’s edgy material) is deep and touching. As one audience member succinctly stated, “each character is so credible and realistic, like someone I really know.” It’s intriguing to see how each relationship will evolve, on the rocky road of love.

For now, I think I’ll stick to my ice cream!

“Marry, F***, or Kill” runs Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. until May 19th. They are completely sold out and are listed on GOLDSTAR as LA’S HOT SHOW. Because of the high demand, they have already added a later performance time this evening — at 10 p.m. both Friday and Saturday April 21 & 22.

Audience members can read updates and get information on where to get tickets at www.mirrortheater.com.

Maggie Grant.

On Saturday, April 14, at the Crown City Theatre, a little bit of cabaret, theater, music, dance, and a lot of magic will come to Los Angeles for a spring fundraiser/benefit for the Three Roses Players and One in the Cannes film production company.

Maggie Grant, Artistic Director, promises that the evening should be a “huge night of entertainment” showcasing the talents of singers, tap dancers, and also a fine wine-tasting extravaganza. The first three people to email Maggie at 3rosesp@gmail.com will get a buy-one-get-one-free admission to the fundraiser, for a savings of $23. If one cannot attend, silent bid auctions can still be posted at feedtheroses12@gmail.com.

Most recently Maggie and the Three Roses Players collaborated with Carl Reiner, deemed the “dean of comedy,” directing two staged readings of his new full-length play Shakespeare Was Wrong, and Maggie is rising to the occasion. The company is very supportive of writers and actors, screen and stage, with a goal of encouraging their growth and supporting their craft.

Maggie Grant’s goal is to promote and showcase up and coming playwrights and screenwriters, and the funds raised will help the Roses to continue thriving and blooming. One such example is a terrific writer, Garry Kruger, of an intense drama, Brotherhood, winner of the Writer Speaks Winner’s Circle, for which she directed and produced the short film. In May, she will coproduce LOVE STRUCK, a one-act festival starring Barbara Bain, Peter Van Norden, Nick Ullet, and Robert Miano. The festival is an opportunity for new talent to showcase their art, as a stepping stone to Broadway or Lincoln Center. All involved in this production company, supporting film and theater, sing its praises and the influence on their lives and careers.

Feed the Roses Spring Fund-raiser is on Saturday, April 14, at 7—11 p.m. at Crown City Theatre, St Matthews Church, located at 11031 Camarillo St. in North Hollywood 91602. For tickets and information on all the acts, visit www.3rosesp.com.

and finally made it there for a mid-afternoon weekday lunch date. The inviting storefront café was surprisingly busy at that hour and I’m told there are waiting lines of eager breakfast and brunch regulars who rave about the omelets and the banana nut French toast. The Sunday Brunch when the Farmer’s Market is going strong on the avenue is also very popular.

We were seated promptly and presented an immense menu from creative burgers to fresh fish. We latched on to the excellent quartet of Sand Dabs that were delicately breaded and grilled to perfection. The steaming hot gourmet coffee was the best I’ve had of late and the crusty bread was fresh. Portions are generous and menu prices are quite moderate. Beer and wine are available but the café is both kid and pet friendly.

There’s street and rear lot parking; foods are handsomely packaged for take-out orders by swift and efficient young servers. I’m not crazy about the café’s name, but it’s hard to forget. The Black Cow doesn’t moo on Mondays.

A word or three about pink slime. The key word is disgusting and the Palate is embarrassed for the millions of markets and restaurants that willingly added the gunk to fresh ground beef in the name of profitable greed. My grandfather recalled a far lesser scam by 10-cent burger stands during the Great Depression when they saved a penny per pattie by sprinkling oak sawdust into the raw meat. “Folks thought it was pretty tasty and it soaked up the fat,” he observed. Illegal of course but a penny was precious. The “pink slime” purveyors have soaked up millions in vaguely legal but immoral food tampering. Most of their customers have now disdained and discontinued the vile practice. Better late than never, but still “slimy”….