Awkward Phone Calls


Sweat trickles down my neck as I pace around my studio. I stop for a second to shift a vase of flowers over to the right. Much better. The sweat slips down the back of my neck like rain droplets.

Last week I made an oath to start taking myself seriously as an actress. No nudity. No B movies. In other words: It’s time to leave my manager.

Which is a big deal.

I hate this.

Oh, do I hate this.

I really don’t want to make this call.

I’m flashed back to middle school when I broke up with my first boyfriend, Seb (his hair cut just ruined him completely). It took me weeks to muster up the courage to do it. I feel like that twelve year old girl again. Can’t my mom do this for me?

I’ve always been left by managers, so leaving one is…weird. I’ve made the decision a month ago, and today I’ve decided to make the call.

Manager: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. Can you talk for a second?”

Manager: “Yep.”

(Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.)

Me: “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my career and our relationship, and I just wanted you to know this isn’t working out for me anymore. I’m sorry. Thank you for everything.”

Manager: “Well expect a call from your agent. He’ll drop you. You fire me, he’ll fire you.”

He slams the phone down.

My agent calls soon after.

Agent: “So, your manager had some interesting things to say about you.”

Me: “What did he say?”

Agent: “He said you don’t go to auditions, are unprepared for them, and only want to be in Woody Allen movies.”

I set the record straight.

Needless to say, my agent didn’t fire me. Feeling saddened the relationship had to end like a bad break up, I did what any girl does when she’s sad/relieved: gulped down cookie dough ice cream.

Alice can be reached at

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Tales of a Toluca Lake Actress

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