Celebrities Say the Darndest Things: Funny Quotes from the Press Tour


Jeff Daniels in HBO’s “The Newsroom.”

Celebrities were well-rehearsed as they gushed about their current projects during the recent TV press tour. But sometimes an unguarded response or a slip of the tongue leads to a funny and/or interesting sound bite during the interview sessions. Here are some quotes to make you smile.

Charlie Sheen, now seen in Anger Management on FX, commented on his “winning” meltdown. He mused, “It was a crazy time. It was sort of like a dream I couldn’t wake up from, or some runaway train I couldn’t get off of, but I was the conductor, you know. I learned a lot, to stick to what you know. Don’t go on the road with a one-man show in 33 days in 21 cities with no act.”

Drew Lachey, back this season on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars: All Stars, joked, “I was in the military, and I’ve done Dancing with the Stars, and apart from learning how to put on your gas mask and doing that stuff, I would say Dancing with the Stars is harder. You don’t have to worry about being spray tanned in the military. You don’t have to worry about rhinestones chafing anywhere.”

Damian Lewis, star of Homeland on Showtime, said that during his visit to the White House, “I asked President Obama and British Prime Minister David Cameron, ‘When do you guys get to watch TV? Aren’t you supposed to be running the free world together? I hear, Mr. President, you really like the show?’ And he said, ‘Yes. Saturday afternoons, Michelle and the girls go play tennis. I go in to the Oval Office. I pretend I’m going to work, and I switch on Homeland.’”

Katie Couric, who hosts the daytime talk show Katie upcoming on ABC, surprised everyone by noting something on her bucket list. She said, “I’d like to star in a Broadway musical, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. When I auditioned for my high school musical Carnival, they actually cast me as a deaf mute.”

Dennis Quaid said he’s comfortable that his new CBS drama Vegas is set in the ’60s. “I’ve played a lot of roles set in the ’60s. I guess my haircut fits that era really well.”

Justin Kirk, who co-stars with Crystalthe monkey in the NBC comedy Animal Practice, said, “It’s cool to be around the most famous monkey inHollywood. We presented an award together at the Teen Choice Awards, so we hang out off set too.”

Jami Gertz’s ABC comedy The Neighbors is her first series in a long time because she’s been raising three kids, and she revealed, “I’ll tell you why I went back to work. I’m not allowed to cheer anymore at games (when her kids play sports). It used to be that I could cheer at the games. I could bring signs. I could wear their names, a sweatshirt with their pictures on it. And now, I am not allowed even to speak at the game. So I felt it was time to go back to work. My work there was done.”

At HBO’s The Newsroom panel, star Jeff Daniels responded to a journalist asking if Daniels was disturbed by what the critics were writing about the show. Jeff just laughed and said, “No. I gotta be honest with you, I completely get why you do what you do. God bless you. But you don’t do it for me, and you never have. It took me a long time as an actor to stop reading you. That’s kind of the approach you have to have just to survive as an actor.”

My favorite funny man is Bryan Cranston, star of the riveting AMC drama Breaking Bad, who hosted the annual awards for the Television Critics Association. At the ceremony he said, “There are a lot of familiar faces, but many who aren’t here.” Then with a sly smile Cranston rifled off some great lines: “The Game of Thrones cast said they were willing to come, but only if they were serving mutton! Katie Couric was committed to it, but actually was plotting her exit months ago! The cast of The Killing couldn’t be here because they’re on suicide watch! There’s no award for most appearances on TMZ, so Lindsey Lohan won’t show up! Jon Hamm apparently broke his mirror! And Charlie Sheen couldn’t be here tonight — but that’s OK, we’ll just tell him he was!”

Yep, celebs say the darndest things.

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