When not teaching or coaching, I’m officiating weddings. In honor of Valentine’s Day, here is the memory of one of my all-time fave couples.
The reception was in full swing as couples took to the dance floor. After a few get-down-and-party tunes, the DJ switched to a slow dance. Within moments, there was just one couple on the dance floor.
In their 70’s, he was dapper; she was stylish. I was utterly charmed by the sight of them dancing.
They were fluid and sensual. Yes, sensual — more sensual than any couple I’d seen that evening (except for the bride and groom). They were two people dancing, yet they moved as one.
I saw this couple two years later at another wedding reception. Again, I was taken by the sight of them on the dance floor. They shone with an intimacy seldom revealed in public by a couple. I decided to tell them how beautiful I thought they looked; they were my new rock star couple!
Surprised and tickled that they’d had such an affect on me, they told me that they’ve always been interested in each other. Interested in what the other was thinking and feeling and doing — and why they were thinking and feeling and doing whatever it was they were.
And then the woman said, “We are each other’s eyes.” And, yes, her eyes sparkled when she told me that.
During their wedding ceremony, many couples will have a candle lighting ritual, “The Unity Candle.” The bride and groom each take a lit taper and together light a large candle that rests between the tapers.
By way of introducing this ritual, I read the following — a reflection from a Hasidic mystic: From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other their streams of light flow together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united being.
Traditionally, the couple blows out their tapers. However, I urge them to keep their tapers lit, as I don’t believe a person’s “light” is extinguished through the blending of lights. It’s a myth that “two become one.”
In marriage, two people come together, challenge, and protect each other so that each can become the best and bravest that they are meant to be. And they do all this in the light of the other. I think this was the reality of that couple whose dancing remains with me to this day. They were two people whose individual “lights” blended in such a way on that dance floor that they lit up the room as their own light shone upon each other.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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