Down Time?


“All the lead roles in pilots are going to names right now, and in March when the names turn down roles, things should pick up for you.”

“Great,” I say — feeling less than great — to my manager who I’ve had to ask 4 times to repeat this phrase. This newly purchased headset is crap. I have to ask people to scream into it so I can hear them. This is what I get for opting to buy the twenty five dollar headset and not the eighty dollar one. It seems like my chances of getting into an accident on this headset are higher than if I was just holding the phone to my ear. People look at me when I drive. They think I’m having manic fits. I’m not. I’m just using the cheaper option.

Pilot season has come to a halt (until March I guess). While I wait for Zooey Deschanel and Taylor Swift to turn down roles, I’ve decided to write my own movie…and plan a trip to Mexico with my little sister. Since traveling through Spain and France last summer, we’ve discovered we make the perfect travel partners. She figures out how to get us around, and I have panic attacks at the Louvre. But I digress.

My leggy best friend and I are in the writing phase of our film where late-night creative talks involving cigarettes and sweet potato bread on my patio have become the routine.

I must admit, it’s thrilling to write my own film. I’d love to see it play at Sundance, launching my career to a level where I’m suddenly starring in meaty roles opposite Christian Bale and Naomi Watts, and having love scenes with Javier Bardem.

“I should be the lead,” I say.

“I should be the lead,” Anna says.

It seems that we’re off to a great start.

My mother is fully against this trip to Mexico. She’s convinced the Mexican drug cartel is roaming around Playa del Carmen preying on tourists in resorts. I receive dated, very frantic bi-weekly emails with articles my mother has copied and pasted to my inbox entitled, “Multiple Death Attacks on Mexican Nightclub,” and “People are Getting Beheaded in Mexico,” and “You’ll Give Me a Heart Attack If You Go to Mexico.”

I try to reason with my mother as she inhales an ultra light Capri cigarette. I tell her my sister and I are going to a “Spring Break” hot spot. I tell her our resort is recommended by the Lonely Planet travel book. I tell her there’s a Marriot. Still, my inbox flashes red.

So while I pray the residual check for a movie I did last year I’m waiting on covers the cost of a new lap top, I try to calm down and stay focused. Focused on the movie I’m writing, and not giving my mother a heart attack…

Alice can be reached at

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Tales of a Toluca Lake Actress

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