Eclipsed by a fidget spinner or what not to give for Christmas

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Sporting events are the perfect time suck. Sports are usually described as a proxy for warfare. Perhaps for the participants, but sports also allow the fan to forget his immediate circumstances and project his desires onto the result of a grander spectacle. That is alright. People need downtime.

Any game is a collection of time triads – set-up, tension, release. A single game might contain hundreds of these.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

These triads distract perfectly from anything more important. Those cumulating results assume an emotional weight beyond any tangible result. You think fans of a team don’t feel empowered by a win? Tell that to those burning cars outside the stadium.

Set-up, tension and release is the basic structure of any roller-coaster ride, drama or the intertwining events of our complicated lives. A screenwriter once told me he structures each scene, regardless of the content, as a sex scene with set-up, tension and release.

Does falling viewership of sporting events and falling birthrates correlate to the advent of the new fad device known as the fidget-spinner? Please tell me I am joking.

Being low-tech, I thumb-twiddle.

Never before, have so many had so much free time. Is this what Jefferson meant when he wrote “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of fidget spinners?”

An extra-terrestrial would see our civilization at its height…and ripe for decline. So much of this restless energy is astoundingly self-focused. What will that restive army do when fidget spinners stop distracting?

The United States recently experienced a total eclipse of the sun. Thousands witnessed this confluence of random events generating a massive cosmic coincidence.

It was a remarkable spectacle. I mean the hype, not the eclipse.

Various groups projected meaning onto “their eclipse.” New Agers divined an ecliptic formula determining each individual’s cosmic identity. They say I “Rule the Divine.”


Certain Christians saw a harbinger of the apocalypse. Social Justice Warriors labeled the eclipse “racist.” ‘Scientists’ saw proof of global climate change. True believers attacked those insufficiently eclipse-obsessed.

As a certain Catholic priest once said, “The universe doesn’t give a…”

Are we so starved for distraction that multitudes travel days for an event that takes less time than smoking a cigarette? (Honestly, Stanley Kubrick did it better in 2001: A Space Odyssey…with music!)

All this cosmic spinning reminds me how vital cycles are in our lives. Didn’t someone at Disney once mention “the great circle of life?”

One could think of the universe as an elaborate (and really big) fidget spinner. We who are made in the Image of the Ruler of our universe can rest easy with that. But what happens when the Spinner of the cosmic fidget spinner stops being amused?

John K. Adams is a writer and owner of Storyography – Video Memoir Services. Adams believes everyone has a story to tell and his personal legacy videos allow clients to share those stories with future generations. Visit to learn more.


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