Get Happy


I’m happy. Do you want to know why? Well, I’m a man, I’m old, I’m broke and I’m a conservative. Put that all together, and it spells happiness. At least that’s what a new Pew Research Center survey has found. The survey says Americans get happier as they get older. The Center has also said that Republicans are happier than Democrats, and that old men tend to be happier than old women. How much money you make seems to have nothing to do with it either. How do you like that? Poor old Republican men, the demographic group that most people have been ignoring all this time, just happen to be the happiest of all the groups. Yippee!
So where does that leave those upwardly mobile, high-income, young liberal women? Well, they’re unhappy. They’re sob sisters. Oh, boo hoo. But that really shouldn’t surprise anybody because liberals tend to be unhappy by definition. If they weren’t unhappy, they wouldn’t be liberals. Unhappy people are the ones who want to change things, and that’s what liberals want to do- change things. Happy people are satisfied people- they do not want to change things.
And that brings us to young people. When was the last time you ran into a young person who was happy with anything? Happy with parents, happy with school, happy with their jobs?  Not even happy with themselves. And women? Does any man really know how to make women happy? Maybe Dr. Phil does. Other than that, I can’t think of anyone.
Think all this has something to do with the recent economic collapse? Well, even before the economy got nasty, seniors were found to be generally happier than younger folks. Some of that owes to the American Dream being lived by past generations, while today’s young adults work two jobs and watch their dream wither.
It’s nice to know that in one regard, age can have its advantages. Oh sure, not all seniors are weathering the recession well but for many, the impact is much less severe than it is for younger people. Many people 65 and older retired, and downsized their lifestyles before the economy imploded, according to Pew analysts. Most aren’t raising kids, and many are not so worried about being laid-off. But the happiness thing goes deeper than just being financially okay. It’s really about attitude. It’s about your approach to life in general.
The study is extremely interesting in that it shows how young working women are basically not very happy people. Liberal women even less so. Hmmm. Wonder why that is? It can’t be that they feel “disenfranchised” because the liberals now control it all. They have the president, the senate, the congress, the majority of the judges, the entertainment industry, the news media, academia and most of the lawyer groups. And young women play a significant, commanding role in it all.
Maybe it’s because these young women expect too much. After all, they’re told from an early age that they can have it all. They’re taught that they can have a career, have as many romantic adventures as they want, be mothers and they don’t need a man for any of it. And what they can’t get for themselves, Uncle Sam will provide.
Young women now earn more money than young men. A recent research study completed by the Department of Sociology at Queens College in New York showed full-time female employees in their twenties surpassing same-age males in big cities like Chicago, Boston, Minneapolis, Dallas and New York. More women are going to college these days than are men (less than 42% of college students are men), and girls do better in school than the boys do- they stay in school longer, and get more honors. Once employed, their advancements within the organization are quicker than are those for men.
Once upon a time there was a social stigma associated with getting pregnant without the benefit of marriage. Not anymore. The shame of having children out of wedlock is gone. Even the very idea of a young woman getting married at all is now considered an old-fashioned notion. Today’s young woman can attend any university, go into any career, choose to marry or not, sleep with any number of partners she wants, have babies with or without a man being a part of the picture and do all this with the total acceptance of society.
So with all of these advantages now, why aren’t young women happy? I actually went around conducting my own little poll on the subject but unfortunately I have no answers. All the young women I approached were not exactly forthcoming. Interviews went something like this:

Me: “Hello, I would like to ask you…”
Young Woman: “Get lost you old creep or I’ll call a cop!”

But if you think this bothered me, you’re wrong. You see, I’m old. I’m a man. I have no money. I’m a conservative. And I’m happy.

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