Hi-Yo Silver Away… and Gone!

Photo Courtesy of Disney’s “The Lone Ranger”

Silver and Tonto in Disney’s “The Lone Ranger.”

Whatever possessed the Disney Company to make this “Spaghetti Western,” The Lone Ranger is beyond the comprehensiveness of this moviegoer. For me, it was more like “Captain Jack Sparrow” from Pirates of the Caribbean turned into “Tonto” in a new drag costume. Instead of “The Black Pearl,” we have “Silver the Wonder Horse”!

It would be such a joy to see Johnny Depp playing more star-quality roles without ridiculous make-up and costuming. The last really good film work we saw him in was The Tourist with Angelina Jolie, garnering three Golden Globe Nominations for Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Picture.

The Lone Ranger first appeared in a 1933 radio program. The show was an instant hit and spawned a series of books written by creator, Fran Striker. The world grew up glued to the radio, along with many other hit radio personalities and subjects. The Lone Ranger being only one of the many, but none-the-less an instant radio hit, especially with the “William Tell Overture” as its theme song.

From 1949 to 1957 it became equally popular as a television show and inspired comic books and movies. “Ke-Mo-Sah-Bee” supposedly meant “trusted friend or scout.” However in this newest of movies it means “wrong brother,” go figure?

Starring Johnny Depp as Tonto and Armie Hammer as The Lone Ranger (a tall handsome drink of water if ever there was one) couldn’t pull off this reportedly 200 million dollar and counting movie. Back in 2011 when the movie was shut down over production issues, they should have just left it that way and bit the silver bullet. Instead they re-loaded the project which unfortunately garnered Disney less than a quarter of the film’s cost on its official July 3 through July 7 opening. This movie has gone down faster than the Titanic. Similar to the way the loaded-with-silver railroad cars from the sacred Indian silver mountain went down in the film. It’s already available for pre-sale on DVD at Amazon.com. This reporter has a feeling there’s a lot of head scratching going on at the studio in an attempt to recoup part, if not all, of their lost silver mine.

As for Johnny Depp, it would appear this box office star would by now be considered a box office maybe, what with last year’s forgettable Dark Shadows and now The Lone Ranger disappearing into the movie’s painted sunset backdrop. But despite his last two attempts at movie making being more than a bit shaky, we shouldn’t quite count him out, as reports have him starring in three new movies with releases scheduled over the next coming three years. Hopefully we’ll find him in roles where we can actually recognize him, but one thing’s for sure; count on still yet another Pirates of the Caribbean movie (the fifth) which has become serial making movie material for the Walt Disney Company.

If they’re going to be handing out any Best Actor Academy Awards next year, it should go to “Silver” the horse. He has bigger teeth, a pretty white mane, can run faster, and can chew up the scenery; talk about a ham. But we best stick to the kind of ham one might find on their Holiday dinner table.

If you remember Roy Rogers and his horse “Trigger,” now there’s a guy who could sit in the saddle with style.

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