President Trump proclaims October 15 through October 21 as National Character Counts Week. Of course he’s referring to Twitter….
Trump also says he’s willing to “compare IQ tests” with Rex Tillerson. Expect to see results in Dumb and Dumber 3….
Trump then revealed he didn’t know he’s the president of the Virgin Islands. When aides informed him he was, he quizzically inquired as to how they could all be virgins, and if need be “I’ll fly down there myself to rectify it”….
Earlier, Trump threatened broadcaster NBC after nuclear report. Nothing scarier than a president going ballistic….
Ivana and Melania Trump are fighting over who is the real First Lady. Worst lady is more like it….
CNN reports Russian hackers used Pokemon Go to meddle in the election. Investigators became suspicious when Pikachu morphed into Donald Trump while players attempted to capture Hillary Clinton….
Columbus claims to have discovered America. Native American’s said, “What you talkin’ about, Willis?”….
In a new Quinnipiac poll, 100 percent of all pigeons believe Columbus statues should not be removed. My car wholeheartedly agrees….
IKEA launches furniture collection for cats and dogs. Expect them to have as much success as humans assembling it….
Cub Scouts announce they will allow girls to join. Talk about scoring brownie points….
A NJ man was arrested after he stripped naked in a massage chair at a mall. It was not the ending he expected….
Parents in North Tonawanda, New York can now face jail time if their child is a bully. Police threaten to beat up anyone not complying….
Friday was National No Bra Day. Women everywhere jumped for joy. Men watched….
According to a survey by affair dating website Victoria Milan, women wearing certain Halloween costumes such as sexy nurse, Catwoman and Playboy bunny are most likely to cheat. The survey also reveals any man wearing a costume is most likely a loser….
Ferrari to start making an SUV. For when you really need to get your kid to their soccer game fast….
Medical cannabis course to be offered at Jerusalem college. Perfect for those who want a higher education…..
Harvey Weinstein was booted from the Motion Picture Academy. Not to worry. He’s tapped to host this year’s AVN Awards for the best in porn….
And Weinstein’s wife, fashion designer Georgina Chapman, is leaving him. She gets the house, he gets the plants….
Ben Affleck apologizes for groping actress Hilarie Burton. While you’re at it, how about apologizing for Gigli too?…
NFL does not plan to force players to stand during the National Anthem. Unless they have to pee….
Gucci models to go fur-free in 2018. Brazilian waxers ready….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at email@example.com.