After a contentious debate, the senate confirmed Brett Kavanaugh as the new Supreme Court Justice. Immediately after, beer sales spiked….
In fact, Kavanaugh was so happy, he spent Sunday at Octoberfest….
A new study finds link between violent games and aggression. For Judge Kavanaugh, it all goes back to playing Pong. Beer Pong….
The other day, all Americans received a presidential test text alert. You know, I don’t know what’s scarier — that or a text from my wife asking why I’m not home?….
You know, the rest of the world has their own Donald Trump alert. That’s right. It’s called Twitter….
Mattress Firm has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. When asked what took them so long, a spokesman said, “We had to sleep on it”….
Toddler shreds $1,000 parents save to buy football season tickets. As far as the parents are concerned, that’s a season ending injury….
Amazon announces $15 minimum wage in the U.S. Those employees with Prime will receive their raise overnight….
A Bronx teacher beats up student who owed him money for weed. Now that’s what you call a high school!…
Missouri has lost track of 1,259 sex offenders. That’s a lot of boofers….
Mailman pees on front porch of Tennessee home during delivery. Good thing it wasn’t UPS or you’d see what brown could do…..
The Nobel Prize in Physics has been awarded to a woman for the first time in 55 years. Unfortunately, it’s only worth 80 percent of the mens’ award….
Chinese warship comes within 45 feet of US destroyer. And again two hours later….
USA and Canada work out deal to preserve NAFTA. They get soy, corn, milk, cars. We get maple syrup, hockey pucks and an “Eh?”…
Bette Midler tweeted women “Are the n-word of the world.” Geez! Is everyone on Ambien?…
Christian Bale plays Dick Cheney in new Vice movie. Being a method actor and to get into the role, he went hunting and shot his friend….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at email@example.com.