Amazon lays-off workers at Seattle headquarters. Some were given two days notice, some overnight….
President Trump went to Florida — to console families that can’t afford Mar-a-Lago….While there, he offered thoughts and prayers, but not enough to get his hole-in-one….
FBI chief disputes White House claims on when it heard of the Rob Porter allegations. Trump’s response: “Liar, liar, pants on fire”….
Former White House staffer Omarosa says Mike Pence “Thinks Jesus tells him to say things.” Who does he think he is, Theresa Caputo?….
Yoko Ono turns 85. Now, when she has a bed-in, it’s due to arthritis…
McDonald’s cuts cheeseburgers from Happy Meals. Because there’s nothing like kale and quinoa to make a kid happy….
U.S. woman found with eye worm previously known only in cattle. Doctors say it was a sight for sore eyes….
Plane makes emergency landing due to passenger passing gas. Talk about your tail wind….
In other news, the polar vortex just split. It was amicable….
Russian curler suspected of using performance enhancing drugs at South Korean Olympics. Officials got suspicious after his stone hit the bull’s-eye — in Moscow….
In Switzerland, it’s illegal to boil a lobster. Now the only way to kill it will be by sending it to school in the U.S….
Police recommend Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu be indicted on charges of bribery and corruption. I wish our police had matzo balls as big as theirs….
Yoko Ono turns 85. Now, when she has a bed-in, it’s due to arthritis….
Danica Patrick was involved in a crash at the recent Daytona 500. It wouldn’t have occurred if she just asked for directions….
Ex-MLB pitcher Loaiza arrested with over 44 pounds of cocaine. He told cops he was upset that the grounds crew gets to do the lines….
The other day, my Chinese co-worker said to me, “Gung Hay Fat Choy.” I said, “Sure. With white rice please”….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at email@example.com.