President Trump says he is likely to support ending federal ban on marijuana. I tell you, this administration has gone to pot….
Trump also blames Canada for burning down the White House during the War of 1812. He also accuses Germany of attacking Pearl Harbor….
You know — I wish Donald Trump wouldn’t piss off Canada. Remember how last time, they burned down the White House….
Rudy Giuliani says Kim begged for summit. And before you know it, Kim Kardashian was in the oval office….
Dennis Rodman will be at the meeting between Trump and Kim Jong un. He’s there to make sure they don’t get bombed….
Man takes knee during National Anthem at Donald Trump’s White House ceremony. But enough about Tim Tebow….
Bill Clinton says he doesn’t owe Monica Lewinsky an apology. But she sure would like to be reimbursed for her dry cleaning bill….
Walmart now offering fancy wine at low prices. And yes — it pairs well with yoga pants….
Buffalo Wild Wings apologizes for offensive Twitter comments. They blame it on Ambien….
Woman, 23, gets eyeballs tattooed blue. She was so happy, she cried ink….
Man wins contest by eating 480 oysters in eight minutes. He then sets record for amount of Imodium drank in one sitting….
Woman named Crystal Methvin arrested for possession of crystal meth. Her husband tells police that if she dies in prison, he’d like her body cremated so he can snort it….
A man sues CVS for ruining his marriage after revealing to his wife his secret Viagra prescription. He’s reportedly having a hard time….
Mexico’s soccer team Invites 30 prostitutes to pre-World Cup Party. Do you blame them? It’s the only time players are allowed to use their hands….
Congratulations to Justify for winning the Triple Crown! Meanwhile, Elmer’s Glue all the losers…
LeBron James speaks for the NBA saying “No one’s visiting the White House.” Yeah, not even Melania….
Sunday was the 72nd annual Tony Awards. It’s the only show that can close down a gay bar for the night….
The Miss America contest will implement major changes. It will now be known as “Extreme Baton Twirling”….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.