Happy New Year! Can you believe it’s already 2018 and Larry King is still writing 5015 BC on his check….
On January 1, recreational pot is finally legal in California. On January 2nd, the price of Doritos skyrocketed….
New York gym offering naked workout classes. And you thought your workouts hurt before?…
A Pennsylvania woman reportedly got a $284 billion electric bill. Hasn’t she heard of Energy Star appliances?….
The day after Christmas was “National Candy Cane Day.” Which is every day at Harvey Weinstein’s….
Florida man beats ATM, says it gave too much cash. I sure hope he doesn’t play slot machines….
Jack in the Box announced they will test pot-themed munches. Big deal! McDonalds already has hash browns….
Israel wants to open a Donald Trump train station at the Western Wall. This is one plan that doesn’t has a prayer….
Lindsay Lohan bitten by a snake while vacationing in Thailand. Snake OD’s….
You know, do we really need three networks to broadcast the Rose Parade? It’s bad enough ESPN televises the World Series of Poker….
Roseanne Bar threatens to retire after feuding with liberals on Twitter. Wow! I mean, here’s a woman who grabbed her crotch on National TV, while singing the National Anthem, and now acts like she has no balls….
The bad news: Power outage shuts down rides at Disneyland. The good news: No lines….
Dr. Phil accused of giving alcohol, drugs to addicts on show. This takes Craft Food Services to a new level….
Former Beatle Ringo Starr knighted by Queen in New Year’s Honours list. He’s officially A Hard Day’s Knight….
I leave you with a little known biblical fact: When Adam wore a leaf, Eve became the first leaf blower. And no one complained about the noise….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.