In the mix: Elizabeth Warren’s Indian affairs, cocaine on the high seas and we all scream for the Rose Parade

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Earlier this week Donald Trump got his wall. It’s called the House of Representatives….

Nancy Pelosi is back as Speaker of the House. Or as my wife calls her, “My peer”….

Now that Democrats took control of the House, Pelosi becomes the most powerful woman in America since Lindsay Wagner….

In 2019 Pelosi has a lot to be thankful for. Not only for being elected Speaker, but for the dependability of Super Poligrip….

With the government shutdown continuing, TSA agents are calling in sick. So in the meantime, airline passengers are being asked to pat themselves down….

Breaking news: Chinese land on far side of the moon. Set up first take out in space.

Elizabeth Warren has formed an exploratory committee for a possible 2020 presidential run. If she does not run, she hopes to be appointed as director for the Bureau of Indian Affairs….

A restaurant called Pho Keene Great in Keen, N.H., was told to remove its sign because it sounds like profanity. The Vietnamese owner, Ahp Yaws plans to sue….

McDonald’s worker fights backs as man grabs employee over straws. He was arrested after cops said he drew the short one….

Police find body of missing man because they were using Google Maps. Maybe now they can find Jimmy Hoffa….

A fisherman in Florida reeled in a package containing 40 pounds of cocaine. Now you know why it’s called the “high seas”….

In Italy, a botched circumcision kills a toddler. Doctor charged after police received a tip….

North Korea ambassador to Italy “disappears.” Saudi Crown Prince named person of interest by police….

World’s most long-lived person, Jeanne Calment, may have been a fraud. Turns out she was dead all along….

Last week, protests in France turn violent over rising fuel prices. Police eventually got the upper hand after baiting the streets with wine and cheese….

Breaking news: Chinese land on far side of the moon. Set up first take out in space.

Ariana Grande tweeted that she’s not going to date anyone in 2019 — because removing the Pete Davidson tattoo takes time….

If Christina Hendricks didn’t appear at the Golden Globes, then I have to say it’s false advertising….

They’re making a musical version of The Notebook. It will be produced for people with a short attention span called Cliff Notes….

I love watching the Rose Bowl Parade. You know, if it was sponsored by Breyers, we’d be looking at ice cream floats.

Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at


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Comical Week in Review

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