Florida is getting hit by one of the worst hurricanes in history, called Hurricane Irma. In fact, this is the one time it’s dumb to stand your ground….
Can you believe Disney World has closed due to Hurricane Irma? Yet the lines still suck….
My mom just called from Florida. Thankfully she is safe. So far, they continue to have power to fuel another round of mahjong….
But I wanna tell you — if anything is going to survive Hurricane Irma, it’s my mom’s hair. Believe me, she pays enough at the beauty parlor to insure her hair withstands Category 5 winds….
Man dies after running into flames at Burning Man. Finally, truth in advertising.
But my mom was well prepared for Hurricane Irma. She had her gotkas, girdles, brassieres and Bloomingdale’s credit card packed….
Dennis Rodman offers to straighten things out between Trump and Kim Jong-un. And afterward, he’s set to replace Bette Midler as Dolly Levi on Broadway….
Cyber breach at Equifax could affect 143 million Americans. I remember the last time I got hacked. It wasn’t pretty. There was pain, lots of blood, and family members shouting “Mazel tov!”
Scientists say Uranus is probably full of giant diamonds. I’m surprised. Usually it’s drugs…..
Dow and DuPont have merged. I always knew they had a chemical attraction….
Connecticut man sets record for world’s longest penis. A record he enjoys holding….
A 7-year-old with 3D-printed hand could soon throw first pitch at every MLB stadium. To watch it, you’ll need special glasses and pay an upcharge….
Scientists have discovered an orange mushroom in Hawaii that makes women orgasm just by smelling it. Talk about an easy lei!….
Lego cuts nearly 1,400 jobs. The news was devastating. It hit them like a ton of bricks….
DNA test proves woman is not Salvador Dali’s daughter. She calls the decision surreal….
Royal baby No. 3 on the way for William and Kate. No one could be more excited than their dentist….
Steve Harvey says he is loyal to Bill Cosby. This is one story that has some teeth to it….
Kim Kardashian posed nude in a tree. It’s the first wood she’s touched since Kanye….
A new report says the Boston Red Sox used an Apple Watch to steal signs from the NY Yankees. This after their failed attempt to deflate a baseball….
Man dies after running into flames at Burning Man. Finally, truth in advertising….
Ray Liotta has been cast as the new Colonel Sanders for KFC. Lorraine Bracco is happy…says he was always finger looking good….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.