Papa John’s CEO John Schnatter steps down. He should have just taken a knee….
Now, thanks to Congress — Santa’s arrived early for the 1 percent….
Did you see where Sarah Palin’s son was arrested on burglary and assault charges? You’d think Sarah would have seen this coming….
Disney World has added an animatronic Donald Trump to the Hall of Presidents. To ensure accuracy, it was manufactured in China….
Forecasters predict the Northeast will have a white Christmas. Meanwhile at the White House, it goes without saying….
In Ft. Meyers, FL Christmas shoppers explode into a massive mall brawl. Some decked the halls, while others just got decked….
Group rolls up 106-foot marijuana joint at Massachusetts Expo. Willie Nelson sues for ownership….
Elderly couple tells cops 60 pounds of pot were Xmas gifts. Cops said they would have believed them if it were for the high holy days….
“IKEA Place” augmented reality app listed among best apps of 2017. Unfortunately, you are required to build the app yourself….
In Europe, McDonald’s is launching the McVegan burger. It’s the first meatless burger they’re introduced since the Big Mac….
North Korea is testing whether its missiles are capable of carrying Anthrax. A spokesman for the band suggests downloading would be “less problematic”….
Cuba’s leader Raul Castro plans to step down in April 2018. He says those heel lifts are killing him….
Tom Hanks gives typewriter to Massachusetts family as Christmas gift. You know, since Trump has brought America back to the 1950’s, it makes the perfect gift…
As you know, on Christmas Day, Christians go to church. Jews do too. It’s called a multiplex….
Just to let you know, I did a special Christmas show Monday evening at Dr. Craw’s Chinese restaurant. Jokes MSG free. Two chopstick minimum….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at email@example.com.