Donald Trump has been on a tour of Asia. While in Japan, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe came up behind Donald Trump, surprising him. Donald turned around, looked him in the eye and said, “You people are good at that”….
Donald Trump tells Kim Jong-un, “Let’s Make a Deal.” Kim counteroffers with “You Bet Your Life”…
Donald Trump says he wouldn’t call Kim Jung-un “short and fat.” Though he does suggest Kim qualifies for his own zip code….
Donald Trump also visited Vietnam. The only thing missing was Joey Heatherton and Les Brown’s Band of Renown….
While in Vietnam, Trump and Putin share a handshake. They had a brief exchange where Putin asked Trump why he looks sad? Trump replied, “Because being president means I can only grab hands”….
Melania Trump visited the Great Wall of China. She was overheard telling her tour guide, “Ohhh! Donald would like this”….
Last Saturday was Veteran’s Day. The closest I’ll ever get to being a veteran of foreign wars is arguing with the cashier at 7-Eleven….
Saw some snowflakes on election day. They were voting….
A Florida man was arrested for DUI on a lawnmower. Cops were glad they caught him before he mowed people down….
Restaurant owner allegedly chokes woman in dispute over cold fries. At least he didn’t choke his chicken like Louis CK….
Louis CK apologized for his actions. He said he was developing carpal tunnel syndrome anyhow….
Sean “Diddy” Combs changed his name again. He went from Puff Daddy, to P. Diddy, to Diddy and now to be known as Brother Love. Talk about a name dropper!….
O.J. Simpson has been banned from The Cosmopolitan hotel-casino in Las Vegas for being intoxicated and belligerent after he ordered a White Bronco at the bar….
Twitter has rolled out 280 character tweets. Expect Donald Trump to orgasm….
Do you know what the difference between Harvey Weinstein and Louis CK is? A potted plant….
You know, Harvey Weinstein’s mom could never figure out why she never had a green thumb….
Last night I purchased one item at CVS. One Item! The receipt was so long, I thought I bought Candy Buttons….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.