Earlier in the week, President Trump held a state dinner for the President of France and his wife. He praised Melania for the “spectacular job” she did as host. Doesn’t matter what he says, she still won’t hold his hand….
The other day, Trump called in to Fox & Friends inquiring: ”Am I the 100th caller?”…..
Couple treats wedding guests to 300 McDonald’s burgers. But wife saves the happy meal for her husband later that night….
Woman fined $500 for saving a free Delta Air Lines snack. If she was that desperate for E. coli she could have just bought some romaine….
Giraffe makes brief escape at Fort Wayne Zoo. Handlers easily caught up to him after they heard him hum The Who’s “I Can See for Miles”….
Frustrated Walmart shopper uses store intercom to beg for associate help. Apparently, she couldn’t find any yoga pants….
T-Mobile and Sprint agree to merge. They will now be called Monopoly….
Breaking news: the White House Correspondents’ Dinner will be now known as the “Dean Martin Roast”….
Temple University rescinds Bill Cosby’s honorary degree. He’s not too upset. He still has his Pudding Pops….
SNL’s Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che are set to host the Emmys. Good. We’ll finally see if they wear pants….
Kanye West had a meltdown on Twitter, tweeting: “I am this generation’s Ford, Hughes, Jobs and Disney,” adding, “Yeezy will become the biggest apparel company in human history.” Who’s doing his tweets, Donald Trump?….
ABBA reunite, announce two new songs. Mamma Mia…here we go again….
I don’t know about you, but that NFL Draft is the worst beer ever….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.