Donald Trump spoke to the UN General Assembly. It was the easiest day ever for translators….
Trump told the UN that parts of the world are going to hell. When asked for specifics, he said “Mostly any place outside of Mar-a-Lago….
He then threatened to destroy North Korea and rebuild it with Trump Towers Condominiums….
In response, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un called President Trump a “mentally deranged dotard.” No argument here….
Trump was so upset when Kim Jong-un called him a “dotard,” he tweeted “covfeve you!”….
Ex-press secretary Sean Spicer says he regrets battles over Trump’s inauguration crowd size. As news goes, that’s huge!….
Merriam-Webster has redefined the word “troll.” It has only one definition: Donald Trump….
I don’t want to forget to wish all my Jewish friends a Happy Rosh Hashanah! May the New Year bring peace, health, happiness and impeachment….
You know, I can’t imagine anything worse than being in a drug rehab while everyone else gets to enjoy the high holy days….
And I gotta hand it to my wife. She’s something else. Once again, she slaved over the phone to call in our Rosh Hashana dinner…
The other day, Los Angeles experienced a 3.6 magnitude earthquake. Thanks to all the plastic surgery, nothing moved….
Couple busted for filming X-rated movies inside Burger King. Ironically, there was no whopper in sight….
Toys “R” Us reportedly on the brink of bankruptcy. Upon reading this news today, a visibly upset Trump said, ”At least there’s Target. They have nice toys. Very nice toys”….
Taco Bell will open 300 new locations. Otherwise known as gas stations….
Jogger dubbed “Mad Pooper” wanted for defecating in front yards of Colorado homes. She’s now number two on the FBI’s Most Wanted List….
John Stamos will star in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in Concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Tickets going fast…expect a full house….
Kylie Jenner is expecting her first child with rapper Travis Scott. NBA gives big sigh of relief….
Lebron James calls Trump a bum. He left out dotard….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.