Donald Trump is going to Puerto Rico. Not because of the damage due to Hurricane Maria, but because he heard they make great taco bowls….
Did you hear that Jared Kushner is registered to vote as a female? That’s right. And to this day he’s never forgiven his mohel….
Hey! What is it called when the Health and Human Secretary resigns? A Price hike….
Palm Beach County authorities arrest killer clown who shot a woman and then married her husband. She’s charged with one count of murder and for impersonating a Steven King novel….
Saudi King gives women permission to drive, but not to ask for directions.
O.J. Simpson was released from prison. He was asked if he still follows football? He answered, “Yeah, the Broncos”….
Attorney General Pam Bondi said Florida “doesn’t want OJ Simpson,” adding, “we have our own crazies”….
O.J. gets released from prison and there’s a deadly knife attack in Paris. Coincidence?….
Did you hear, O.J. was spotted in a supermarket? He was buying juice. But I wanna tell you…
And did you know ex-President Jimmy Carter turned 93? He says he attributes his long life to being married to a great woman, as well as never letting Billy Beer touch his lips….
Vacuum cleaner Dyson to make electric cars. When Elon Musk found out he said, “Well, that sucks!”….
Last week Jews around the world celebrated Yom Kippur. I went to Temple. The rabbi opened up with: “Anyone hungry?” Wise guy!….
The good thing about breaking the Yom Kippur fast: food never tasted so good. The bad thing: Toilet paper never felt so rough….
Saudi King gives women permission to drive, but not to ask for directions…..
UK man caught on security camera having sex against the counter at a Domino’s Pizza with girlfriend. Not only that, but he delivered in less than 30 minutes….
Playboy founder Hugh Hefner has died at 91. Out of respect, men will be asked to lower their penis to half-staff….
Did you know, Hugh Hefner is to be buried next to Marilyn Monroe? Lucky stiff!….
I hear Hefner ingested so much Viagra in his lifetime, rigor mortis set in before death….But I wanna tell you, If anyone could outscore Wilt Chamberlain it was Hugh Hefner….
Hefner’s passing brings back a great memory. Did I ever tell you about the time I had sex with a Playboy Playmate of the Month? Of course, it was great. But next time I plan to remove the staples first…
Twitter is finally testing a 280-character limit. If all goes well, Trump will be able to really say what he means….
And Monty Hall has died at 96. His deal was done….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.