Donald Trump wants the military to fund the wall. At this point, the only wall he’ll get is Pink Floyd’s….
Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg says he will testify before Congress. When asked why, he said “It’s complicated….”
Viagra is 20 years old. Remarkably, no one thought it would last more than four hours….
Gun maker Remington files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Ironically, It’s the first time a gun maker has come up shooting blanks….
Blue Moon will be launching a marijuana-infused beer. Miller High Life sues….
Hundreds line streets of Cambridge to honor Stephen Hawking. Mourners held a minute of silence with their Speak & Spells….
Pope says “There is no hell.” Obviously, he hasn’t experienced a colonoscopy prep….
North Korea’s Kim Jong Un made an unexpected visit to Beijing. He came home with an enormous doggy bag….
How do I know God is younger than Larry King? Because Clapton just turned 73….
Arnold Schwarzenegger undergoes emergency open-heart surgery. Don’t worry — he’ll be back…
Ex-MLB player Albert Belle was arrested for DUI and indecent exposure. Turns out he didn’t zip up his ball sack….
NFL owners unanimously approve new catch rule. Players want to know if it includes cheerleaders….
The L.A. Dodgers last spring training game was cut short due to a sewage leak. To prevent further sewage issues, the stadium has cancelled all Taco Tuesdays….
It’s Passover this week— the holiday where Jews celebrate their 40-year exodus from Egypt with a Seder that’s nearly as long….
You know, instead of hiding the matzo, I hide the kids. This works for about two weeks until child protective services knocks on our door….
Now I know why they call the movie The Ten Commandments an epic. It’s so long, by the time it was over, Moses could have walked to Egypt and back….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at email@example.com.