Saudi foreign minister says killing of journalist Kashoggi was a “tremendous mistake.” Or as Donald Trump says, “Oops”….
A new poll conducted by AP-NORC says 1-in-4 think Judge Kavanaugh told the entire truth. The other three didn’t attend Harvard….
Powerball and Mega Millions have soared to more than $2 billion combined. And that still doesn’t pay off student loans….Did you know that Trump purchased a ticket? That’s right! When asked what he’d do with all that money, he said, “Build a wall”….$2 billion dollars? Man — that’s a lot of relatives and new-found friends!….
In a recent tweet, Trump called Stormy Daniels “Horseface.” You think that’s bad? He just called Rod Rosenstein a taxi….
UFO expert predicts within five years we will discover E.T. I sure hope Trump allows it to phone home….
A Texas man was sentenced to 50 years for stealing $1.2 million worth of fajitas. $1.2 million of fajitas? That’s like winning a lifetime of free gas!….
An Iowa man trashes hospital while being treated for consuming a Tide Pod. Doctors said on the bright side, he cleaned out his bowels….
Scientists have discovered a new dwarf planet within our solar system. When asked what they’re calling it, they said the only thing that came to mind is “Peter Dinklage”….
Buckingham Palace announces Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are expecting their first child. You know, the royals have so many in line for the throne, they had to add another bathroom….
China plans to launch an “Artificial Moon” to light up the night skies. It will be the first satellite to contain MSG….
Canada legalizes marijuana. Doritos stock rises….Then, just one day later, Winnipeg issued 1st ticket for toking in a car, one hour into legalization. I tell ya, Canada’s gone to pot!
Singer Ariana Grande has covered up her tattoo of Pete Davidson with a Band-Aid now that they broke up. Reports are that she fell off the wagon and again is licking donuts….
Legal experts say the case against Harvey Weinstein is unraveling. Like his pants….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at email@example.com.