The biggest story last week — FBI director Comey out. Himmler in….
When this news broke about Comey, my co-worker said to me: “What this country needs is another J. Edgar Hoover to run the FBI.” I replied: “I’m sure RuPaul is available”….
But I wanna tell ya, that Donald Trump is all fired up. Why just today he got rid of his colorist for not using a crayon….
Sean Spicer hid in bushes to avoid the press. It was just the latest in creepy clown sightings on the White House grounds….
Trump now suggests canceling White House press briefings. Especially when landscapers are trimming the bushes….
You know, every time Spicer is asked a question, I feel like he wants to say “I’m telling my mommy on you”….
The city of L.A. moves to impeach President Trump. In response, Donald tells Kim Jong-Un to make sure his west coast missle aim is accurate….
The Pope is set to meet Trump next week at the Vatican. But chances are extremely slim the Pope will accept his offer to be FBI director….
Did you know, the first time Trump had sex, his girlfriend asked if he brought along protection? He said, “Yes — my bodyguard”….
A violent brawl erupts between diners at a Denny’s in upstate New York. Patrons said it was a nice change of pace from the violent diarrhea they’ve come to expect….
Stanley Weston, the creator of the G.I. Joe action figure, dies at 84. He is survived by a brother and 500,000 Hasbro dolls….
Florida teen arrested for assaulting and throwing woman into pool. Wow! If I didn’t know better, I’d say this state’s real name is Amanda Bynes….
A female New Jersey high school student arrived at her prom in an open coffin. Friends said she could use some meat on her bones….
Woman forced to pee in a cup on United Airlines flight in April. And she’s still waiting for her lab report….
In a new find, scientists claim the earliest known living creature popped up about 3.5 billion years ago in a hot spring in Australia. And Larry King still has the vacation pictures to prove it….
Southwest Airlines passenger arrested after allegedly starting fight on plane. He tells police he thought he was on Spirit….
May is National Masturbation Month. And June is National Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Month. Makes sense….
Richard Simmons sues tabloids over false sex-change story. It was that or burn his bra in protest….
NBC said they plan to resurrect Jesus Christ Superstar Live next Easter….
And did you know, Larry King and Betty White dated way back when they were just amoebas? That’s right. But eventually they split-up. But I wanna tell you….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.