Melissa is a colleague whom I admire. Every time we meet at a function, though, we end by saying “we must do lunch” and then never do. Last week she called and we finally did lunch. Melissa told me that she’s hell-bent on going through her list of fave people and getting together with each person by Valentine’s Day. This was her only resolution for the New Year.
Although I just wrote a column on New Year’s resolutions a few issues ago, in light of Melissa’s enthusiasm, I thought I’d check in with you and ask, “How’s it going?”
I recently found out that February is National Self-Esteem Month. I’m really not a fan of all these “national this-and-that” month or day, but it does seem appropriate that self-esteem month comes a month after we’ve all made some wonderful and often unfulfilled resolutions.
There’s a host of reasons for why we don’t keep resolutions, just ask Drs. Drew, Oz, and Phil! However, I think one reason is that we’re afraid of what would happen if we did keep a resolution.
In an odd way, many of us are afraid not just of failing, we’re also afraid of succeeding. “What would life look like if I accomplished something good for myself?” That’s a scary question because if you answer it honestly you’d have to take ownership of your life, not play the victim or seek out pity. And for many people, there’s also a lingering sense that they don’t feel worthy, deserving of success and well-being.
David, a friend of mine with great magical abilities, told me that his goal this year is to “be less afraid of being confident.” I love that because with confidence comes greater self-esteem and success.
A new coaching client told me that honing his communication skills is one of his top three priorities for the year. From a business standpoint, I was grateful, but from a personal standpoint I was challenged as he got me thinking about my priorities for this year.
I must admit they seemed clearer a month ago than they do today! And maybe that’s because I never wrote them down. Studies show that you have a greater chance of reaching a goal if you actually write it down. I’ve done that and I encourage you to join me. It’s really simple — all you have to do is complete these three sentences:
“The most important thing I have to do this year is … The second most important thing is … The third most important thing is….”
If you’re stumped and don’t have anything important to commit to, then I would ask, what are you really afraid of? Failure or success?
Please send your questions to JP Reynolds at: firstname.lastname@example.org Follow me on Twitter: @jprweddings