The Right Report Card


We recently went through the ritual of evaluating the first 100 days of a new President. In fact, we were so anxious for the one hundred day landmark that by day 75 we were already debating what we would be reviewing. We evaluated everything from town halls to international visits, along with crucial issues ranging from the State of Torture to the State of the First Ladies Arms. There was one area however among those first 100 days that we failed to grade. I am speaking of course of conservative America. Not exactly a shy time for those on the right.
Be a failure… please. Wishing for our President to fail and declaring his solutions a failure before they are enacted unmistakably puts politics over country. There is a world of difference between expressing doubt and wishing for doubts to come true.
Muslim to Socialist. Although there is still a mentality that insists President Obama is a secret Muslim with plans to destroy America, most within the GOP now firmly dismiss such silly notions and instead have concentrated on the more important national issue of renaming the Democratic Party the Democrat-Socialist Party. It is unclear how many jobs this crucial vote would ultimately create.
Blame America. President Obama has made clear that the United States of America is a great country but not without faults, and he has held other countries up to equal scrutiny. Somehow, this translated to President Obama blaming and trashing the United States which may not be an honest debate about what he actually said. But why quibble about the authentic statements if it won’t confirm the impression required when inventing points?
Tea Time. Pretending to be a non-partisan, grass roots protest the endless tantrums that have become routine since roughly midnight of last Nov. 4th found a national stage for a group tantrum. These of course were organized by the same people hoping that the President would fail.
Secession. Because of a lost election? Taking your ball and going home should have gone out with the advent of puberty. This would border on treason if it was not so firmly rooted in infant level thinking.
Held Hostage. The four days of the Somali Pirate Hostage incident brought on a barrage of disgusting commentary from those on the right disgruntled by the lack of loud bellicosity on the part of the President. Declaring the President incompetent, these individuals waited with anxious anticipation for the worst outcome to befall Captain Phillips so that they might unleash their fury upon the President. Which they did anyway but no one heard them among the celebrations.
Speaking of being held hostage. Having a name for a new Justice to the Supreme Court for rejection from the right will be a refreshing change from the rejections of the Presidents pick before there was even an opening.
Former Vice President Cheney and other voices of the right. Comments starting with former Vice President Cheney all the way to Conservative whine radio are declaring that under President Obama, the country has become weak and that there is a conflict of confidence in our ability to adequately protect ourselves, no doubt giving the enemy confidence to strike. After all, how many times do you shout “attack us” before someone takes up the offer?
Birth Certificates. Still? You bet. “Leaders” from Mr. Limbaugh to Alan Keyes are still declaring that President Obama is not the President, that treaties and laws won’t be legal and that Hawaii is in on the “plot.” And yes, they are still bothering the courts with this.
Teleprompter. When not too busy calling the brand new President of the United States names like “Narcissist in Chief,” “Messiah,” Fascist, Marxist  and declaring him a “liar” and “bamboozler,” crucial national issues over the Presidents use of a teleprompter have dominated the minds of many who suddenly find promp-ters extreme tools of evil deception and cover-up unseen since Cain slew Abel.
The unfortunate nonsense that I evaluate above was generated by spectacularly unspectacular people who are the voice and momentum leading conservatives today. I don’t know why these people have invested the GOP in such a high priority campaign of unreasonable hatred against President Obama, and why they are willing to go as far as they do to promote it, but for those first one hundred days the best I can do is to be generous and give them a “D” for their eagerness to spread paranoia and create debates based not on observations, but on “pre-observed” requirements.

Lloyd E. Flyer is a freelance writer and may be contacted through the “Tolucan Times” or at

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