Hatchet 2 Premier

At one point there were so many cameras flashing and so many people screaming my name I actually (not to be dramatic) almost fainted. There was this moment of light-headedness that forced me to pull it together and well, you know, stand there and smile.

I’m at the premiere of my movie Hatchet 2, a horror film loved by a serious amount of horror film fans I found out.

I spent all day yesterday searching H&M and Forever 21 (because I’m so rich) for the perfect premiere outfit. Nothing. Thank God for Zara. Thank God for Spain (the country where the store originated). I struggle deeply with looking like the stereotypical “Hollywood” woman. I hate it. I’ll never do it. I eat cheeseburgers and always will. Period. Do I get the skin tight, mini “dress” I know all the women will be wearing and worry about sucking in my tummy all night? Or do I pick something I feel confident in and risk being the only one woman in pants?

I ended up with a pin striped suit and off the shoulder top. Classy. Under one hundred dollars. Sold. Good selection for my first movie premier. This is me.

I’m walking toward a swarm of dressed up “important” Hollywood types in Ray Ban sunglasses and suits. I see the mob of people in the all black attire and the gauntly thin women in the, as expected, mini-dress. Oodles of lights are flashing — quite the spectacle for Hollywood Boulevard. But then again, probably quite the norm for this street.

I’m so nervous. I have cotton mouth. This happens when my life feels threatened. This happens only in cases of extreme anxiety. This is happening at my movie premiere. Lovely. I’m pulled to the front of the long line of people waiting to walk the red carpet because I’m part of the cast. I have no choice but to do it. And then the unthinkable happens. After a near fainting fright, I start to eat it up! Cotton mouth, what? My throat muscles relax and a calm takes over. Everything is OK. Everything is, believe it or not…fun.

I so rocked that red carpet.

I’m ushered with my “entourage” (my two best friends and manager) into the air conditioned, popcorn smelling theatre as we make our way to the “reserved” seating. I’ve heard about this “high” people get from being proud of a film they’ve done. And I am. I’m high on Hatchet 2.

Sitting in my apartment later that night, after attending the “after party” I made a run to In-N-Out and pigged out on a cheeseburger. I’m so Hillary Swank right now, minus the whole Academy Award thing. (Apparently after wining her Oscar, Hillary went to Astro burger!)

Tomorrow I wait tables. How weird is my life?

Alice can be reached at AliceActress@yahoo.com

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