So many of you have written to me lately that I decided to devote the entire column strictly to your letters. Let’s get started!
I’m a 24-year-old woman. I love my job, and have been dating the same man for nearly a year now, so my own life is fine. My problem is with my father.
My boyfriend and I were out to dinner the other night and just as we were being seated in the restaurant, I looked at the far end of the dining room and saw my father—NOT with my mother (it was Mom’s night for her card club). Dad and the woman were sitting close together—it was disgusting! I told my boyfriend we couldn’t stay, so we left. I don’t think Dad saw us.
The worst part is I’ve seen Dad with this woman before. About a week ago, I was going to meet Dad for lunch and I saw the woman coming out of his office as I got there. Dad’s a doctor and he has lots of patients. I wouldn’t have thought anything about it, but I recognized the woman when I saw her again at the restaurant.
I think Dad’s having an affair, and I want to tell my mother. I know she’ll be sad and really mad, and I hate to think I would be the cause of it by telling her. I can tell you, if I were married and found out my husband was cheating on me, I think I’d kill him! What should I do?
I strongly suggest that you meet first with your father and hear his side of the story. Tell him what you’ve seen and request an explanation because, otherwise, you’re going to feel the need to tell your mother.
Seeing him twice with another woman isn’t necessarily good, but it could be innocent, too. Spirit tells me that this is a woman that he first knew a long time ago—perhaps from his college years. I feel the woman is divorced and lonely, and somehow came across your father’s name and decided to visit him because they were once very good friends. Your vibrations on the letter further tell me that she’s visiting a relative in town for a while and used to live in your area, so it was purely a case of her contacting your father on the spur of the moment.
Surely your father, being a doctor, knows how to deal with patients who might develop a crush on him—it’s fairly common in the medical field, as I understand. But I don’t feel she has a crush, nor does your father. It’s an old friendship temporarily being re-established. It won’t hurt to talk to your father about it, to let him know you’re aware of it. It could, however, hurt to tell your mother without knowing all the facts.
Dear Dr. Kenny,
I’m 75-years-old and hope you don’t think my letter is silly. I lost my husband two years ago. I recently sold our home and moved into an active retirement home two months ago.
Lately I’ve been watching a man who also lives here. At first we just started smiling at each other, and then recently he’s been bringing me cups of coffee in the lounge and we’ve been talking. He’s 78-years-old, and we get along quite well. I feel like he’s going to ask me for a date.
Should I accept? I still have the memory of my husband very stron-gly in my mind. Suppose he’s looking down on me from Heaven and thinking it’s inappropriate to think of dating so soon after his passing. He was truly the love of my life. We have 3 wonderful children, and I don’t know what they’d think either.
Dear Sweet Spirit Emily,
I’m sure your beloved husband is very pleased that you’ve spent this long period of time mourning him, but to use a cliché, “the past is the past, and the charm of the past is that it is the past.” It may be time for you to move on, which doesn’t mean you’ll ever forget your husband. You have reached a wonderful conclusion that he’s in Heaven, and I’m sure he realizes that you have been a loyal wife, not only when he was alive but even for the two years following his passing.
By all means, if you feel a kinship for this fellow resident in your retirement home, accept his invitation. As a matter of fact, Spirit tells me that you secretly want him to ask you out, to fill the void in your life. If he doesn’t ask you, why not ask him to lunch? Or better yet, bake him a cake and bring it to him, perhaps for a celebration of his that I feel is coming up? What a nice way to start a friendship that my spirits say could lead to the road of happiness.
Your husband is not, I assure you, looking down on you and disapproving. Emily, I spend a great deal of time visiting spirits in the Heavens. I love my work, as you know, and I am very sure you have your husband’s permission to resume dating.
Please keep in touch with me. Since I’m an ordained minister, if your relationship gets to the marriage stage, call me and I can perform the ceremony!
Personally handwrite a letter to Kenny, seal and mail it yourself, then look for his answer in a future issue. Send your question to Kenny Kingston, PO Box 1857, Studio City, CA 91614. For more information on Kenny Kingston, visit www.kennykingston.org.