This is Only a Test

Okay readers, no comments on politics, current culture, or my opinion on anything else this week. I’m giving you all the week off. Tell your brain you’re taking a break. After all, everyone needs a bit of summertime relaxation in order to unwind and decompress, even columnists. So in keeping with the lazy days of August, I’ve come up with a little silly test for you to take.

Don’t worry; I won’t be grading you on this test. It won’t be a part of your permanent record and there won’t be any humiliating points to count up at the end. It’s just for fun. And there’s no time limit; take the whole week to work on this if you need to. Heck, take the whole rest of the summer, what do I care? I call it Crosby’s Famous Advertising Slogan Test. Read the following ad lines and see if you can name the companies that go with each slogan. Try not to peek at the answers until the end. Ready, Set…Go!

  1. It’s the only way to fly.
  2. See what brown can do for you.
  3. We make money the old-fashioned way. We earn it.
  4. Don’t leave home without it.
  5. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
  6. Tastes great, less filling.
  7. Fair and balanced.
  8. I’m not a doctor but I play one on TV.
  9. Can you hear me now?
  10. It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.
  11. Leave the driving to us.
  12. Where’s the beef?
  13. It’s everywhere you want to be.
  14. You deserve a break today.
  15. Betcha can’t eat just one.
  16. We’re Number Two. We try harder.
  17. I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
  18. Put a tiger in your tank.
  19. It’s the real thing.
  20. Must-see TV
  21. Zoom zoom.
  22. We will sell no wine before it’s time.
  23. Think different.
  24. A diamond is forever.
  25. Babies are our business, our only business.
  26. Just do it!
  27. Just say no.
  28. We’ll leave a light on for you.
  29. It keeps going, and going, and going.
  30. Stronger than dirt.
  31. Take it off, take it all off.
  32. Where do you want to go today?
  33. Have it your way.
  34. You are now free to move about the country.
  35. Builds strong bodies twelve ways.

Answers: 1. Western Airlines; 2. UPS; 3. Smith Barney brokerage; 4. American Express credit card; 5. LifeCall emergency alert devices; 6. Miller beer; 7. Fox News; 8. Vick’s cough syrup; 9. Verizon Wireless cell service; 10. Chiffon margarine; 11. Greyhound Bus Lines; 12. Wendy’s restaurants; 13. Visa credit card; 14. McDonald’s restaurants; 15. Lay’s potato chips; 16. Avis car rentals; 17. Alka-Seltzer antacid; 18. Esso gasoline; 19. Coca-Cola soda; 20. NBC television network; 21. Mazda automobiles; 22. Paul Mason wines; 23. Apple computers; 24. De Beers mining; 25. Gerber baby food; 26. Nike athletic shoes; 27. Advertising Council antidrug campaign; 28. Motel 6; 29. Energizer batteries; 30. Ajax laundry detergent; 31. Noxzema shaving cream; 32. Microsoft; 33. Burger King; 34. Southwest Airlines; 35. Wonder Bread.

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