7 things your fat friend is tired of hearing

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By Cassandra Appleby,
courtesy of

Blogger Cassandra Appleby: “We are not ‘pretty for a fat girl,’ we’re just plain pretty!”

Every Fat Girl navigates through life hearing words and phrases that, in the end, try to further body shaming culture. Well, guess what? We’re tired of it!

With body positivity gaining traction as it is, we could all use a little education on how to be more loving and accepting of all body sizes. Here are a few things just about every Fat Girl hears and here is why these phrases suck.

  1. Fat

The other F-word. The new and improved Fat Girl is fat and proud! We are not so much tired of hearing it as we are tired of hearing it used against us. We are fat. We have fat. We are also living, breathing, thinking creatures with feelings, hopes and dreams just like the rest of you – and being fat does not change that fact!

This just in: “Fat” is not a bad word! Oh wait, that is old news.

  1. “Oh, you have a boyfriend?”

Um…yes we do. Are you surprised that someone finds us to be sexy, smart, fun and basically the entire package? Because we are not.

  1. “That looks so flattering on you!”

Also known as “the other, other F-word.” To be “flattering” implies that you have done a good job at convincing people you look thinner than you actually are. It is okay to tell your fat friend that they look good because they look good and not because they have conned you into thinking they are attractive.

  1. “Pretty for a fat girl”

Or “such a pretty face,” “such pretty hair,” “such beautiful skin.” All these are backhanded compliments that suggest fat and beauty do not mix. We are not “pretty for a fat girl,” we’re just plain pretty!

  1. “I’m really concerned about your weight”

You are not concerned about our weight because our weight has nothing to do with you. Who are you to be spending your free time thinking about someone else’s weight? Mind your own business! This is nothing more than criticism feigned as concern. It is a proven fact that body shaming leads to an increase in eating disorders which means your “concern” typically causes more harm than good. Real concern comes out of love, wanting friends to love themselves and not feel insecure in your presence.

  1. Any fashion advice that tells us to “cover up”

Now revealing the new and improved Fat Girl 2.0 – she loves stylish clothes! We are not limited to wearing outfits that cover our arms, belly or thighs. If we want to show a little skin, we do so. Fashion is about expressing yourself through clothing and if that means you see a Fat Girl wearing a crop top, get used to it!

  1. “I feel so fat right now”

Do I even need to explain this?

Cassandra Appleby is a marketing student at San Francisco State University, set to graduate in May. Being plus size her entire life, she is passionate about promoting body positivity and empowering others to find their confidence.


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