Did Ya Know….??

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So you say you watch the news every night on the tube? You say you read all about what’s going on every day on the internet? You hear the news on radio, too, I suppose. And a few of you ancient dinosaurs even still read the newspaper. You do all you can to keep up with current events. You think you’re fully informed. You think you know it all. All the news that’s fit to print, or blog, or tweet, or gossip about. Well, you’re wrong. I think I’ve come up with a couple of dillies here that you just might not have heard about. For example:

Did you hear about the federal judge that has ruled that homeless sex offenders may stay overnight at shelters near schools in Grand Rapids despite a Michigan state law prohibiting them from living within 1,000 feet of a school? No? Well, stay tuned, because here it is and it’s for real. Both of Grand Rapids’ shelters are within that student-safety zone but U.S. District Judge Gordon Quist doesn’t care about that, because we’ve got to keep our priorities straight — like protecting the health and well-being of homeless child molesters.

This idiot judge issued the ruling after determining that homeless people do not “reside” in emergency shelters if they only go there at night to sleep and have no guarantee of a place to stay on a given night. See, technically they don’t “live” there, they just go there to crash in the evenings … after a joyous afternoon of child molestation at the local school.

Idiot U.S. District Judge Quist rejected a request for an injunction to prevent enforcement of provisions of the Sex Offender Registration Act and student safety zones. Thanks to the ACLU, a lawsuit was brought by several homeless people with criminal-sexual conduct convictions. It stems from the fact that a 51-year -old child molester froze to death back in January 2009 after he was denied admission to a shelter because he was on the state’s Sex Offender Registry. He was placed on that registry because of a sexual assault conviction involving a pre-teen girl.

“The shelter-advocacy community really came together to say no one should freeze to death,” said Miriam Aukerman, an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union. “To freeze to death on the street, that’s a horrible fate. No one deserves that.” Really? Well, what did that poor little girl ever do to deserve being molested by that monster?

Maybe child molesters do deserve to freeze to death because they don’t deserve to live, how about that? Actually, I could come up with a few other ways to handle child molesters, none of which involve shelters. Freezing is too good for them.

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And then we have the story that proves that no matter how long you’ve been married, it’s never safe to get caught cheating on your spouse, even when it was over 60 years ago. An Italian couple is soon to become the world’s oldest divorcees, after the 99-year-old husband found that his 96-year-old wife had an affair in the 1940s. The husband was going through an old chest of drawers when he made the discovery of his wife’s love letters a few days before Christmas.

The man became so upset that he immediately confronted his wife of 77 years and demanded a divorce. Guilt-stricken, she reportedly confessed everything but was unable to persuade her husband to reconsider his decision. She wrote the letters to her lover during a secret affair in the 1940s, according to court papers released in Rome this week.

So now the couple is heading for divorce after being married for close to eight decades. They have five children, a dozen grandchildren, and one great-grand child. No word on whether the old boyfriend is still around or not. I tend to doubt it.

From her point of view: How would you like to be married for almost 80 years only to discover that your husband isn’t exactly the forgive-and-forget type? She must be thinking, “Why the hell didn’t I just throw out the lousy letters, like 50 years ago?” They’re both practically 100-years-old; she almost got away with it!

From his point of view: How would you like to be married for almost 80 years only to discover that your wife is a cheating whore, harlot, slut? I don’t know, maybe after he confronted her with those letters she simply should have said, “I’m sorry dear. It will never happen again!” And chances are, it wouldn’t have.

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