Over the Thanksgiving weekend, Donald Trump played golf with Tiger Woods. They both were hoping for a ho-in-one….
The other day, Trump tweets NFL “players are the boss.” Sounds like he works in a bodega….
Jeanine Pirro, host of Justice with Judge Jeanine, was ticketed for doing 119 mph. And that was just her mouth….
Charles Manson leaves estate to pen pal. O.J. says he’s grateful and will use the money to find Nicole’s killer…
Now that Manson is dead, Trump had no one to pardon for Thanksgiving….
What’s the difference between Donald Trump and Al Franken? Franken’s a breast man….
When asked for a comment about the sexual misconduct charges, Franken said: “I’m bad enough, I’m dumb enough and doggone it, people hate me”….
UCLA players thank Trump for helping them get released from China. In Donald’s case, it helped to have good ties….
People are destroying Keurig coffee makers after company pulls ads from Sean Hannity. Well, America does run on Dunkin’….
An Indiana English teacher was arrested after using cocaine in her classroom. Cops were amazed she could read between the lines….
Nearly one million pounds of weed found hidden in rocks. And here I though pot wasn’t a hard drug….
Navy acknowledges pilot drew male genitalia in the sky. People on the ground were just glad there was no cloud burst….
Honda recalls 900,000 Odyssey minivans. Wow! I’m lucky if I can recall last night’s dinner….
Santa arrived in New York at end of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. When asked by a reporter why he’s so early, he said, “You try living with elves!”….
Thanksgiving was rough at my house. To avoid politics, we had all my Republican relatives sit to the right….
Oh, did you know my relatives came over on the Mayflower? That’s right. They were known as Punim’s….
Australians support same-sex marriage in survey. Makes sense. They do go down under….
Victoria’s Secret model falls on runway after paper clip shifts to other side of her pocket….
CBS News fires Charlie Rose. Now, he’s no longer a thorn in their side….
Did you know, Louis CK’s favorite room is the The Comic Strip?…
Was watching the National Dog Show on TV. I’m surprised Tori Spelling didn’t win….
Country singer Mel Ti Ti Ti Tillis has died….
Colin Kaepernick is named GQ magazine’s Citizen of the Year only after the magazine editors were sure they could fit his ‘fro on the cover….
And I want to thank the Israeli editors of Time magazine for naming me “Mensch of the Year”….
Howie Fox resides in New York, though his mind can often be found in the gutter. He writes for comedians when not kvetching. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.