A New Girl

Dear Sweet Spirit Kenny,
I am ashamed of myself. I am 17-years old, and since I was 11, I started to shoplift.
When I was 13, I would take a large shopping bag with me, wear an old pair of shoes, go to a “Class A” department store, try on several pairs of shoes and when I found a pair I liked and wanted to wear, I’d put the old pair in the bag and wear the new pair out of the store.
In my closet I have about 2 racks of unpaid-for shoes. Also, the past two summers, I went into several different fashionable stores, took some dresses into the dressing room and tried them on. I’d tear off the price tag, take off the shorts and top I’d worn, put them in the shopping bag and wear the dress home. I have enough elegant clothes to go to an “A” List party.
A couple of Sundays ago, our minister centered his sermon around something like “any person who takes what is not his or hers shall never be truly happy.” Was the minister’s sermon meant for me? Did he know somehow?

Please help me, I feel cheap.
N.G.

Dear Sweet Spirit N.G.:
The moment I felt your vibrations on your envelope, I felt sorrow. You are punishing yourself but you have already started to redeem yourself by recognizing your problem.
There may be girls that you’re trying to impress by having better shoes or better clothes but unless you come by them honestly, it is not in the least impressive. They can walk with their heads held high while you say you are feeling ashamed. You know you would never want to have them know how you really got that pair of shoes or the dress.
I feel you are starting to change. Don’t rely on material items to gain you acceptance or friends. True friends won’t care about those things – they will be more interested in the inner you. My advice is to never go into a store alone. Be with one of your friends who is honest and trustworthy, and only shop when you know you can afford something.
You felt that your minister’s comments were meant for you. They weren’t, but you were sent to church to hear them and recognize your problem and the guilt you feel over it.
Thus far, whether you believe it or not, the spirit angels have been protecting you so that you haven’t been apprehended. But you cannot count on that happening any longer. By all means, stop now while you’re ahead.
The next time you go into any church, whether you belong to it or not, drop some money into the poor box. It will lift your heart.
Good luck and please – I know when you write to me within the next six months instead of signing your letter N.G you will be calling yourself “A New Girl.”

Dear Kenny,
First let me thank you for having this column. You must realize that you are helping hundreds of people because when you choose one person’s letter and their problem, you are helping lots of other people with the same problem.
My father passed away when I was 3-years old. When I was 6-years old, my mom married a man who was a pharmacist. My dad was an insurance salesman. I have two older brothers, a younger sister and two older sisters.
My siblings all love our stepfather. I wish I could love him the way they do. I like him, mostly because he loves Mom and is good in every way to us kids. But how can I make myself love him?

Thanks,
H.H.

Dear H.H.:
You already like him since you’ve admitted that he shares a love with your mom and is good to you and your brothers and sisters. Believe me, I feel you will continue to grow in your feelings for him if you look deeper into the relationship he has with your entire family.
However, we can’t make ourselves love someone, or make someone love us. Also, subconsciously you are comparing the man to your birth father, whom you obviously loved a great deal. But my spirit guides tell me you mustn’t compare him in this way. People are all different and have special qualities – so let your stepfather’s qualities shine.
You may never love him the way you loved your biological father. Like many families, there is bound to be a “favorite,” whether it’s a sibling or a parent.
You realize that your stepfather is fulfilling a need for your mom, and that’s important. Try to focus on the positive aspects of the family relationship.
I feel that when you begin a serious relationship of your own and start a family, you will focus less on your mother and stepfather and more on your own new family. This will be the best thing for all concerned.